Saturday, October 08, 2005

The Aristocrats

A few weeks back, the movie The Aristocrats was released. Since then, almost no one has gone to see it. It was promoted as being the dirtiest movie ever made. The movie consists of 100 professional comedians telling the same joke, claimed to be the foulest joke ever told. The punch line of this joke is "The Aristocrats". The joke itself is not funny, per se. The alleged comedic value is in the telling. The raunchier and more vile, the better. The movie proudly features every combination of scatology, incest, perversion, bestiality, necrophilia, pedophilia, mutilation, and so forth that you can imagine, and many more that you could not imagine.

Being eternally dedicated to you, the reader of this fine blog, I decided to do a review of this movie. Normally, this would entail actually going to see the movie. However, in this case I found a perfect way to circumvent this requirement. I simulated the experience in a very realistic manner. I stuck my head into a vat of raw sewage for an hour and a half. This was very much like the actual experience of seeing the movie, but higher in comical value, not quite as disgusting, and as an added bonus, it saved me $6.

So why is it that Hollywood produces rot such as this? It certainly is not because of the great demand. This movie was a flop at the box office. Many theaters didn't show it, and those that did saw attendance far below average. My theory is that there are a certain percentage of people in Hollywood who live in a fantasy world where they really believe that there is some merit in a movie such as this. They are convinced that it is somehow liberating. Liberating from what? I don't know. Personally, I don't think that it is important enough to be outraged over. I find it sophomoric, juvenile, dull, and unimaginative. It is the kind of thing that junior high boys do in the locker room. I think that it is time for Hollywood to grow up and give us quality movies with an engaging plot, character development, and a message which elevates the viewer.

Lawrence of Arabia, anyone?

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