In previous years, the hot item at Christmas was Beanie Babies, Cabbage Patch Kids, or Playstation II. This year, a new craze is sweeping America. Lines wrap around the department stores as throngs of screaming shoppers clamour for the item that all the kids are begging for. Suppliers are running short as demand skyrockets, and retailers are falling behind in their efforts to keep the merchandise on the shelves.
Expert market analysts agree that this year's hot item is the all-new "Bail-Me-Out Elmo."
Kids are delighted by the antics and recorded messages of this lovable red critter. If you push his nose, he will wiggle around and say charming phrases such as "Give me more money" and "I'm too big to fail."
However, Bail-Me-Out Elmo is never satisfied with the money you give to him. If you meet his demands for financial assistance, he will continue to ask for more and more money. He is pre-programmed with many endearing phrases such as "Just borrow the money" or "I love other people's money."
If you continue to feed him huge doses of taxpayer dollars, you will be rewarded with gleeful comments such as "Let's make sub prime loans!" or "Why make better cars than Toyota?" But if you cut off the flow of cash, he may become threatening or belligerent, saying things like "My union won't endorse you!" or "Fine! I'll just declare bankruptcy!"
The makers of Bail-Me-Out Elmo were concerned that the toy would not be popular enough to cover the development cost, but they decided to proceed with creation of the product. They explained that "if the toy is wildly popular we will make lots of money, and if it flops, we'll just get the government to pick up the cost."