Saturday, April 05, 2008

Highly optimal

Failed radio tycoon Tom Athans, must be up on his latest medical journals.

Athans, founder of failed liberal talk radio ventures Air America, TalkUSA Radio Network, and Democracy Radio, and husband of US Senator Debbie Stabenow, knew exactly how long it ought to take to visit a prostitute.

Police report that Athans entered a room at the Troy Michigan Residence Inn, paid $150 for sex, and left fifteen minutes later. I thought that was a bit quick on the draw, if you know what I mean.

Then I came across a study from the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, a publication I read regularly.

It found that an optimal duration for sexual intercourse was between 3 and 13 minutes. It seems that our hero, Mr. Athans allocated a minute to undress, the optimal 13 minutes for "wham bam", and one more minute to dress, hand over the $150, and mutter "thank you ma'am" as he hurried out.

Closer examination of the study indicates that the 3-13 minutes does not include foreplay, but I suppose that being concerned about the woman's enjoyment doesn't matter much with a hooker.


todd said...

What in the world does this have to do with curling?! You know that unlike sex, curling sells!

Don Dodson said...

I forgot to say "April Fools".