For twenty five years I have been wondering why I am a believer in Jesus Christ and why I own guns. Certainly it must be more than the fact that Jesus is God's Son and the only way to restore our broken relationship with God, radically transforming my life by aligning me with God's purpose for my life. It couldn't be that the Second Amendment is a crucial safeguard of our liberty and that self protection is a responsibility of every free citizen. There had to be an explanation.
I owe a debt of gratitude to B. Hussein Obama, a lifelong opponent of the Second Amendment and a deeply spiritual man, mentored by the America-bashing Jeremiah Wright. He finally helped me to realize that my faith in Jesus and my ownership of a few firearms is a result of my bitterness over the government's failure to rescue me from my miserable economic situation. For twenty-five years, in fact ever since the hapless Jimmy Carter was president, I have been wallowing in hopeless misery waiting for Obama to descend on a glowing cloud, as angel choirs sing, and fix all of my problems.
I see it now. My faith and my Sig are just coping mechanisms to help me deal with the bitterness of my wretched state. Obama is my true savior, and now that he is here at last, all my worries are gone and I can rely on the benevolent government for everything: food, shelter, clothing, health care, education, abortion on demand, protection, and of course a livable minimum wage job.
With Obama as President, you'd better *cling* to your wallet.
Praise be to Obama!